6.5 / 10 Actioncome... ✦ 〈SIMPLE〉

The neon sign above the theater flickered, casting a bruised purple glow over the sidewalk. On the poster, a man in a tuxedo was mid-backflip while firing a flare gun at a helicopter. Below the title, the consensus was clear: .

Miller cornered him on the roof. The wind whipped his hair—not in a majestic way, but in a way that revealed his receding hairline.

The scene opened with Miller "Action-Comedying" his way through a warehouse. He didn't do a tactical slide; he tripped over a crate of knock-off sneakers, accidentally headbutting a henchman in the process. 6.5 / 10 ActionCome...

"Let’s call it a tactical stumble," Miller wheezed, adjusting his tie.

"It’s over, Vane!" Miller shouted over the sound of a helicopter that was clearly CGI. "Give up the beans!" The villain laughed. "You're a mediocre cop, Miller!" The neon sign above the theater flickered, casting

The screen cut to black just as an upbeat pop-rock song from 2014 started playing. The audience walked out feeling neither changed nor disappointed. They had been entertained exactly as much as they expected to be.

"Was that a move?" the henchman groaned, clutching his nose. Miller cornered him on the roof

The dialogue was snappy, but not too snappy. For every witty one-liner Miller delivered, he followed it up with a joke about his cholesterol. He wasn't the hero the city deserved, but he was the one they could afford on a mid-range streaming budget.