Madeline Marks (2026)

Since there are several notable people named , I have drafted a blog post based on the one who is a fictional captain in the popular sci-fi comedy podcast, Oz 9 .

The absolute highlight of the week? We accidentally hit the ship behind us with what can only be described as a "windshield-full of human goo." If there were a leaderboard for the biggest eff-ups in the fleet, I’d be winning. At least the Oz 9 made it past launch, which—given the state of the other ships—is practically a miracle.

Solar Cycle 4,922 (or Tuesday, depending on which janitor you ask) Location: Somewhere past the Moon, currently drifting toward "Inexplicable Doom" Yeah, so things haven't exactly gone to plan. Again. madeline marks

A good portion of our "resting" guests are now "eternally resting." It turns out pods are picky about staying powered. Who knew?

When I signed up to captain the Oz 9 , I was promised a nice, long nap in a stasis pod and a "Terraform Now" button to press in twenty-five years. Instead, I’m wide awake, the coffee machine is judging my life choices, and we just passed Earth’s moon. You know, the big white rock from the childhood bedroom window? Yeah, seeing it up close is cool until you realize you weren't supposed to see it at all because you were meant to be unconscious . Since there are several notable people named ,

On the bright side, the view from the port-side windows is stunning. It’s almost enough to make you forget that the life support system is making a sound like a dying harmonica.

Stay tuned for next week's entry, assuming we don't accidentally terraform ourselves into a black hole. — Captain Madeline Marks At least the Oz 9 made it past

If you meant the Eating Disorder Registered Dietitian or the International Dating Expert , just let me know and I can pivot the style!